What’s the point in me?

I make a lot of noise and know a lot of people. But when the day’s over and I’m alone in my room, who can I call? Who can I go to? I’ve somehow kept everyone at arm’s length. I have friends. I could call any one of them. But they won’t get me. When that calls end, however encouraging it might be, I’m back where I started. Alone in my room.

I don’t want to be alone in my room. I want to be doing what normal people do. I want to be surrounded by friends and family. I want to be doing something. I want reassurance and loyalty and love and affection and I want a fucking future.

What future do I have? One date cancelled and I crumble. The last year of my life has been spent churning out some shit I’m always going to compare to better things. The next year is going to be spent making something even worse.

I need a career, financial security and a family. I need freedom, adventure and company.

What am I achieving right now? What progress will I have made by this time tomorrow?

What difference will I ever make?

What is the point in me?